Men’s room stuff

Ok so whats up with guys who step up to a urinal, adjust and prepare the equipment, then lean back and try to start a conversation?? “Duuuude, thish place fuckin’ rocks aye?”.. Alright STOP! First of all, I can’t pee when i’m talking – my body cannot multi-task at that level. Secondly, anyone who takes his own sweet time to start (or complete) his business is obviously “there to look”. Thirdly, if the scene of this conversation happens to be in Amigo’s mens room, then there’s a good chance your asses are already in contact with each other (seriously, have you SEEN their mens room?) and thats a pretty uncomfortable situation in itself. I’d rather pee quietly and get the hell outta that place as soon as I can.

Whew.

As a footnote, here are my three favorite commandments of proper urinal etiquette -
1) Thou shalt keep your hands on your equipment at all times..
2) Thou shalt not stand four feet away from the urinal…
3) Thou shalt not talk to another guy at the urinal…